Moms..... Pull Up Your Big Girl Boots!!

I had a weak moment a few days ago. I had finished a 8 mile run and was not feeling up to my normal energetic self. I felt unusually sluggish and wondered what illness I might be coming down with. Had to take my middle daughter to the allergist that day adn almost fell asleep in the waiting room. I was so zonked! On the way back to school, she begged for me to come back in an hour and eat lunch with her. I just kept explaining that I was tired, not feeling well and unsure if that would even happen. A voice in my head kept reminding me that she actually wants mommy to be with her at school and I should go. So I went. So glad I did! Ended up snagging about 5 other kids to eat with us outside too! They were very grateful to escape the noisy and zoo-like cafeteria. I remember thinking that kids really do suck everything out of you and when you feel like you have nothing else to give, they manage to suck even more out of you........In a good way of course! It's amazing what we do or should do for our children. Being a mom is no easy task and not one to be regarded with ease. Motherhood is a slow and steady marathon........not a sprint. It's long, windy, up hill, down hill, full of cheering sections, absent of encouragement, exciting, boring, painful, joyful, sacrificial, and so much more. This year, I want to focus on one true point of motherhood. If I'm gonna make it and if I want my kids to succeed then I must be sure of my SELF-WORTH! Vicki Courtney says it best in her book Your Son....."Perhaps the greatest gift a mother can give her son is a proper foundation for establishing self-worth. Unfortunately, many mothers are unable to give a their sons something that they, themselves, do not posses." This is so true for raising girls too! I meet extraordinary women everyday. Now, they don't find theirselves to be so but I can sense their true beauty right away! They come in many shapes and sizes: imperfect, tired, energetic, haven't showered in days, clean as a whistle, tasseled hair, loving spirit, available, messy homes, chefs, etc..............The most attractive and magnetic thing a woman can have is healthy confidence. I'm not talking about arrogant schmucks! (yes, schmuck is a strong word and in the dictionary)Please, let me run from those women. I'm talking about having confidence in what you CAN do and not focusing on all the little things you're unable to do. So what.......you don't cook and you don't clean,you don't sew, you're not crafty, you don't scrapbook, and you're not a 'stay at home mom' and you don't homeschool, and you don't, don't, don't!!! What do you do?!! You do things everyday to nurture and love your babies. Maybe you pack their lunches, zip up their coats, drive them to school, tuck them in each night, read stories to them, put toothpaste on their brush, comb their hair, smile at them when no one else is looking, pat their head as you breeze by in the kitchen. There are thousands of wonderful things that you do. Having meaningful conversations with you kids, especially your teens, is change in your pocket! And that can be a hard thing to do with our crazy schedules. My 7 year old always wants to talk to me while she is on the porcelain potty. Not my favorite time to talk but it works for her.........just do it!

Kids want to see confident moms. Be you and don't try and emulate the other moms out there. We are all different......thank goodness. You are not a perfect mom but you are "the perfect mom' for you kids. God put you in their lives because you understand them. "A mom understands what a child does not say". Only you know your child the best. If you have unique or challenging children........embrace them. Only you are equipped with the genes, patience, and temperment to truly love them. I can never love your child the way you do. But I can love my own kids in their own special way. I don't do many of the typical mom things well but.......I thrive on the things that I can do. I can make some killer cinnamon buns. I build incredible tents out of bed sheets (better than daddys....so my kids think). I snuggle the best and I drive my mini-van with skilled speed around corners, which causes everyone to feel like they are on a roller coaster. We love it!! Be you and your kids will be theirselves too. Don't you want your kids to grow in confidence?! You must model it first. God created you and thought about you years adn years before you were born. He believes in you and you should too.

Don't Underestimate Boys

As Mother's Day approaches I am constantly being reminded of the great responsibility that has been placed in these unsteady and unsure, yet willing hands. Almost makes me nautious to think about the great demands and influence that I have on these 3 delicate and kissable souls! But, I must take a minute out of my day and talk about BOYS!!!!!!! Go ahead and get ready to throw something at me for saying this but it's the truth.........."if you don't have any boys.....you're missing out!" Now, I'd have to say the same exact thing to a mom who was without girls. But to be so lucky to have both?! They are so diifferent and I love both sexes in their own unique ways. Some days I feel like girls are soooo much easier but then they throw a fit over clothing and itchiness and I turn to my son, who wears anything, and I think to myself "boys are so much easier." And the balance shifts the next day as my wonderful son jumps from couch to couch, knocking over lamps, and ending in a nose dive into wall with much tears. Even right now as I type this, my 4 year old boy is climbing all over me and wants more food! haaaaaaa.......love him!Now don't take this blog too seriously or you'll just turn into a grouch. Just read and relax. So here are a few things that I have learned about boys! 1. If you have a secret or flaw, don't tell/show them.......they will tell everyone when you least want anyone to know! Linc loves to point out my bad breath, hole in my shorts, or arm sweat in his booming voice,and in front of lots of people. :-)

2. If you care about expensive toys, don't buy them for boys. Fortunatley we rarely buy expensive toys and we when we do......we know the possibilities. For example, the giant Buzz Light Year that we bought Linc for his 3rd bday. Buzz has been dissamebled, beat up by Iron Man (notice the red marks on him), and most parts ripped off of him. He will never fuction the same. I wonder if Linc will program Buzz to speak another language??

3. If you are hoping to take a nice snapshot for of your handsome boy to send to nanna/pappa.......think again. Expecting nice and tranquil smiles is unexpected. We settle for crazy smirks, hoping the tongue stayed in the mouth, at least! 4. If you're a mom who doesn't want gun toys in your home............hmmmm.......might be difficult. Before we ever bought Linc his first plastic gun, he was making them with his fingers, legos, sandwiches, and the girls' doll legs! It is born within them to fight and defend us! LOL Who taught him how to make a weapon? 5. Expect to be snuggled and kissed on the nose when you least expect it and need it the most. I snuggle my rough tumbler each day at nap time and I will never ask him to stop kissing my nose and counting my moles/freckles on my face. I think we are up to 13! I call them beauty marks! LOL 6. Expect to be wrestled. If you deny the boy wrestling then he will attack you, as you are exercising or bending over to sweep up dust into the dustpan. You will be wrestled! So, just pull your hair back and watch your nose, cause boys like to head-butt! 7. There is no such thing as neat or quiet bathtime. Our floors ended up flooded each time.........even when he is given a quick 5 mintue bath...........he knows every game and move that requires heavy splashing. 8. Etiquetee comes slowly and takes much patience. He doesn't hesitate to yell out that he doesn't have underwear on in the public restroom and for me to stop looking at his penis while he uses the restroom. Burping and tooting come at any moment. 9. Expect to hear wild stories from their teachers..........about you! I was at his Mom's day program at preschool and he told the teacher that mommy likes to kiss daddy (so far.....so good) but THEN he added that daddy likes to spank mommy! ooohhh my!!! 10. Finally, enjoy the roller coaster with boys. They are unique and special. Don't treat them like girls. However, they do eventually learn their mannors, learn to speak quietly in public, and they do turn into charming young men ...........just like their dads!

Didn't Know Turning 7 Could Be So Fun!

I can't even remember my 7th birthday! In fact I can remember very few cause times have changed so very much since Paul and I were kids. Birthday parties consisted of balloons, homemade cupcakes, pin the tail on the donkey, and a few banners. I loved celebrating my birthday growing up and mom always made my favorite meal and one gift to open. There is a lot about those time that I enjoy. Yes, I don't really remember very many specifically but I know that each one was celebrated. I'm not even sure how many of my kids' birthdays will be remembered but I'm positive that Mia will remember the 7th! Because we don't do birthday parties each year, they are very special. I have 3 kids and parties can be laborious and chaotic at times. Honestly......I'm lazy! There you have it! i don't want 20 kids running around my house, stepping in frosting, dragging out every toy in the world etc.......Also, I like keeping parties special and not having them as something 'expected' each year. So the kids never know which year they will be allowed to have one. We are spontaneous about it. This seemed to be Mia's big year. She finally won us over with tons of begging when she said "mom, you don't even have to buy me a gift, just a party!" Well, they already know that party equals no gifts from mom/dad. The party is our gift to her. So we agreed.........with terms. We agreed to invited 3-5 friends and we'd do a pool party after school on a Friday. I would get snacks and cupcakes, no meals. WE wanted to keep the cost low and yet still have fun celebrating. I have come to realize that having fun does not necessarily mean spending tons of money. I decorated the kitchen with banners and streamer that I got at dollar store and from my scrapbook closet ($1). Then I wrote 'Happy Birthday" with markers on the bathroom mirror. We decorated the table with a plastic cloth, cards and gifts from family and pulled out the baby book. Breakfast was spent opening gifts from Nanna/Pappas, siblings, and from friends far away (thanks friends for remembering). Nanna sent the most creative gift. Card with money and pictures of what Mia could buy: bathing suit and pool toys. We are taking Mia out later this month, just Paul and I and her, so she can spend her money!! Then we sat down and flipped through the baby book and talked about the day that Mia was born. She loves it and we do this each year with each kid. so much fun! Mia ate her bday breakfast and then off to school.

I came to school that afternoon and handed out cones that had been dipped in chocolate/sprinkles and filled them with marshmallows, craisins, and chocolate chips. Much easier than ice-cream! Kids came home with us that afternoon adn we had flip/flop cookies, dry cereal that was in sand castle buckets and shovels. We all felt like we were at the beach eating our beach snacks and listening to Island music. I also had fruit pre-cut in heart, star, and fun shapes. After enough swimming and splashing, the kids sang the traditional song and we ate yummy homemade cupcakes. I hate to admit it, but I think I outdid myself this year on flavor and deocor! I ate 3 more cupcakes that weekend. Yikes!!!!!!!!! They were that good! Mia was adorable and the Surfer Girl party was a success.

Since her real birthday is on Saturday, we went out to dinner, her choice. She chose Oreganos and off we went for pizza and pizzokies! Then surprised her by taking the family to a movie (rare occasion for us) and watched the new Chimps movie by Disney. An amazing time with just family and I think she felt pretty special. We felt very full from pizza, dessert, and popcorn!

"Mamma Mia" Turns 7!!

Let me properly introduce you to our 7 year old! She is 7 and full of energy, soul, and undying passion! It's amazing how a mom can give birth to 3 kids and they are all so completely different! Mia broke the mold when she entered this sphere. She is our "mosaic". She is so unique and full of crazy expression. Her birth was actually quite the drama scene and we should have taken the hint then. She was not one to be unnoticed. The squad showed up at her birth due to the cord being wrapped around her neck and she spotted an entire 2 on the APGAR sca1e (10 being the highest). She was a blue smurf and still recovering from the rocky entry. She recovered and we saw those ridiculously enormous pools of blue open up and stare right into our hearts. She was precious and she was ours........all ours. Since her birth, she has managed to create all sorts of parties in our house. She even invented her own world that she calls "Janian World". You can hear her playing Janians on her bed and talking to all her imaginary Janians, as well as to her stuffed animals. She tried to explain the complex concept of all the characters but she lost us at "good kitty" and "bad kitty". Our giggle were unstoppable and we were blown away at her creativity, years ago!

Just the other day she told us that she couldn't wait to birth her own kids and that she knew she would be a great mom. I agreed and asked why she thought so. She mentioned all the wonderful care that she has been giving her "giggy" (her frog) and that she was practicing. Ohhh, we sure do love her. She is our spunky middle child. Her name means "like God" and "beautiful". She is living up to her name each day. It's not uncommon for her to ask about the homeless with impecable timing; usually while we are gulping down a 5 course meal in our air conditioned home. She is the unusual child that begs me take her to the park..........to pick up trash. She loves her earth! She would love to go totally Vegan but I told her to wait until she is older/healthier. She can't eat meant without mentioning how sad it is that the animal died. Oh, Mia.....we love you!

At any moment you can find her standing on a stool- helping in the kitchen, walking around on all 4 limbs and roaring at Lincoln, laying on her top bunk bed and whispering to her babies, playing swords outside with siblings, building forts in the living room, or collecting toys to give away at school the next day. Happy 7th birthday sweetie!

Loving the Person and not the Perfection in Kids

I keep constantly reminding myself that this is a 'season' in my life. As moms we travel though many seasons, at turbo speed, with our kids. Our peeps change as quickly as the rocky weather at sea. One moment our precious princesses are twirling around in pink fluff and in a blink they are shopping for a bras! What, who stole that time?! Who allowed the fairies to grow up into a mature adolescents?! Not fair! Talking to a "mom-to-be" the other day, I realized how much I thought I 'knew' before my kids were born. I mean, I had taught 1st and 5th grade and volunteered with highschool kids for 8 years. I knew soooo much about rearing and parenting, right?! Hardly! I now realize how completely obtuse I was and even came across as moronic to some. Sooo, what am I learning through these experiences as a mom of 3 kids??? Seasons..............take it in stride. This has been beyond difficult. Our 1st born was given a name that literally means "strong/chief helmet". Hmmm...who's idea was it to pass along such a name? Good one, Lisa! So after she was born, we had 3 chief helmets, 3 first borns coexisting under one roof! Eye-opening. There have been arduous moments that birthed many tears, many after-birth 'labor' pains, and self-examination! Looking at your children is like looking at yourself in the mirror. My sin unveiled and disclosed in such a real and personal way. Ouch! My deficiencies, blemishes, and flaws draped upon the girls like ugly robes. Who dressed them today? I did. These realities can only invoke grace. They must produce grace or we are finished now. Grace leads to love, forgiveness, acceptance, appreciation, and growth. Sooo, knowing that our kids will make mistakes, that they reflect us, and that grace is required, I am much obliged to welcome the many seasons. I welcome the loud noises from dumptrucks being scraped down the tile floors, drenched bathroom floors after a fun bath, spilled milk every day in partnership with wiggly bodies, disheveled bedrooms, loud voices, chewing/talking/spewing with mouths open and full of food, mismatched/stained outfits on picture day, sassy lips, and the arguing. I welcome these experiences and allow them to grow me, as well as the opportunity to grow/teach my children. I have to ask myself in some of these moments "Is this a big deal as I look at the 'Big Picture" in life? Loud dumptrucks........not a big deal. Sassy lips that reflect wounded heart......big deal. So deal with the character at hand and teach through the moment. Be a coach that marinates her words in gentleness. Be a parent who gives grace without strings attached. This is not mastered in my young life but I'm growing daily in these mosaic seasons of life.

A New Easter

This was the first year that I've ever participated in Lent. It was quite the experience. Someone asked me "why.....why would you even lent? Isn't that just for Catholics?" It was a great question. I decided to participate in a 40day fast in which I gave up desserts. As Jesus took off into the wilderness for 40 days to give up food and focus on his Savior, I too hoped to give up some luxuries and focus on the up and coming Easter. It was a meaningful learning experience for me and I also decided to watch the Passion of Christ by Mel Gibson this year. It first appeared in theaters when Mia was born, but I was not able to see it. Because it's so emotional and most certainly a true stor, I have put it off for 7 years. This a year of firsts for this 36 year old. Embarassingly so but oh so good for my soul. Glad I decided to lent and watched my Savior's story on film this year.

One other first moment for us............ we decided to give each of our kids a special egg with something encouraging written inside. Because God is always doing something 'new' in our lives, we wanted to reveal to our kids what we noticed God doing 'new' in each of their lives. Paul wrote a short letter to each of the kids and put them in their eggs. Each one read the note aloud after we had dinner. It was fun to encourage our kids and focus on what God is doing new inside of their hearts and acknowledge their growth on Easter.

Of course we did have the famous egg hunts in our backyard, egg coloring, and we ate a few chocolate eggs. Paul and I hid the eggs. Kids emptied the eggs and hid them for us. Eggs were collected and hidden again and then again....... Fun to see all the 'hard' spots that they chose to hide the eggs in.

Closing up this Easter holiday, hoping to constantly remember the sacrifice made for me years before I was ever born. Hoping to remember the grace that was given to me and the unconditional love that still pours into me each day from above. Focusing on the all the new things He is doing in my heart. What new things are happening in your heart?

A Few of My Favorite Super-Heroes

We love to watch the movie, The Incredibles. I love the mom in that movie. She's so cool with all her stretchy arms and amazing strengths. I wouldn't mind being a bit like her; but that is only a movie. In real life, we have no super-human powers, just the human characteristics given to us by God. It seems that some women are a bit wiser with how they handle those gifts though?! You know? Having just completed a blog on motherhood etc, I wanted to talk about a few women who have shaped and molded me over years. Honestly, they appear perfectly normal at first glance. They would blend in with a sea of faces. Their hobbies are not extra-amazing and their kids are normal kids. They are not leading CEO's of companies, not wives of important dignitaries............just normal women with incredible hearts. It truly is the inside of one's soul that embodies the most vital qualities that leads one to become so influential to small people, like me.

Robin is a woman about 10 years older than myself. Married young due to a pregnancy. Her mate didn't share her love for Christ and yet she stuck with him, loved him, supported him completely and most of all she respected him. Her words are filled with love, kindness and wisdom. I've never known someone to dive into the Word like her. When I met her, she was on her 1st ever missions trip with us. Paul told her she couldn't smoke on the trip, so she quit cold turkey. She was dressed in her 'older clothes' and not as stylish as others her age. She shared her feelings with open exposure and complete freedom. She was raw, vulnerable and honest. I couldn't find any masks on her face..........she was the real deal! To this day, she is still my hero. I love that God placed her in my life during my crazy, immature years. I'm still immature but imagine me as a 20 year old?!!!

And sweet, sweet Lori. A time in my life when my marriage was rocky, my husband a pastor at a church and I was lacking many qualities that a wife should encumber. I was feeling hopeless. She came along with her tender heart and picked me up. She listened to me ramble on and on about my selfish requests, encouraged me to keep digging into the Word and most of all, to grow forward. To this day, she still calls on me and checks in. I love her so much. An older sister, she is!

Of course, life wouldn't be the same without Aime. My soul-sister who is walking in the same stage of life as myself. After spending time with her, I feel empowered and encouraged to become a more loving wife, stronger individual, and more tender parent. There is no competing or comparing. We have vacationed together multiple times, with kids adn without kids. Our friendship survived a church split, even when we didn't agree. We live on opposite sides of the country and yet I am giddy with joy when I receive her 4 page emails. Our hearts are knitted together. She is quiet to be around but deep inside the span of her being is a roaring lion who loves justice, give compassion to the hurting and displays grace to all.

And I'd be remiss if I didn't mention my mom. A woman who single- parented for many years without any help. She worked as many as 3 jobs at one time. At one moment we were homeless and she sent us to live with a friend while she hit the streets looking for a job that would feed and house us. Romantically speaking, we were temporary vagabonds! Mom was successful in her search! To be quite honest she went through hell and back as a parent. I know, naughty word, but it fits. She dealt with an abusive husband, horrific jobs in fast food chains and even survived driving a school bus. She finally married her best friend and is happy and settled. I'm thrilled for her. I thank her for giving me the type of tenacity that only comes through rigorous and extraneous experiences.She's a rock!

I've been blessed with tons of amazing women who have shaped my life. I think of Jeannie, Julie, Holly, Maryanne, Alison, Sheryl, Lesa,Sloane, Jaine, Kineka, Linda and Roger, and so many more. All of these women love God, love people, and show it in their everyday lives. Their actions are synonymous with their deeds. They are unstained by cultural pressure, vulnerably strong, and not afraid to just be................I'm guessing you have a few super-heroes in your life too.

I'm Not a Superhero/Supermom........and That's Okay

i"m totally shooting from the hip here, as usual. Don't have time to proofread and change phrases........as if you couldn't tell in previous missplelled blogs! The more I talk with women and hope to see a vulnerable side of their deeply rooted and hidden souls, I realize how unsure we all are and how much we compare ourselves to "her". You know, the mom who drives the way cool SUV, has buns of steel, the finest and most stylish outfits, kids are all dressed and color coordinated (yuck), cooks like Emeril, kisses her kids/husband every 5 seconds, uses words like "oh come here honey, it's okay sugar-pie", and is a coupon maniac. Well that couldn't be more opposite of me. I am in agony (due to my pride) as I rumble around in the most familiar grey Honda Odyssey mini-van, have jello for buns, clothes from Goodwill, kids in mismatched costumes and a boy who wears his sisters socks, and the list goes on...........Looking at either scenario for a mom.....both can be and are amazing. A truly loving mommy is not defined by her clothes, car, or buns, right? So how come we use these characteristics to measure our worthiness, at times? Because we are human!

The other day, I rushed out of the house to pick up my kids from school and didn't even realize that I was still wearing my giant, bright blue Gator slippers. oops! And to make things worse, I was wearing my sweatshirt inside out. And it's true that I had on the same yoga pants that I was wearing the day prior. Hopefully no one was keeping track of my ridiculous outfit. Now, I normally like to look presentable but there are moments that the rush of life and cries of the baby take over and well.............you're left looking........like a mom. It's funny cause just years ago, you could spot me teaching in school and dressed to the hilt! So I am professional and I do have self respect. I'm not some country girl that's been raised by wolves. I like to look nice.

Bottom line is that you finally reach a point that you are okay with who you are and focus on your own strengths given to you by God. I can't sew a stitch but I love to cook, scrapbook (whenever time will allow), race in triathlons and that's about it. I kill all living plants; so gardening might be disastorous! Hair and makeup....ummm.........I read magazines and try and figure that one out cause I have no natural ability to curl, fluff, spray, or rosey up my cheeks. I wing it!

I've learned not to be intimidated by the most attractive moms who seem to have it all together. Once I get to know them, I realize we all share similiar fears, concerns, and joys in parenting. Just hoping you feel normal as you read this blog and see that being an amazing mom doesn't mean being a super-hero. But if you are a super-hero, that's cool too!