I had a weak moment a few days ago. I had finished a 8 mile run and was not feeling up to my normal energetic self. I felt unusually sluggish and wondered what illness I might be coming down with. Had to take my middle daughter to the allergist that day adn almost fell asleep in the waiting room. I was so zonked! On the way back to school, she begged for me to come back in an hour and eat lunch with her. I just kept explaining that I was tired, not feeling well and unsure if that would even happen. A voice in my head kept reminding me that she actually wants mommy to be with her at school and I should go. So I went. So glad I did! Ended up snagging about 5 other kids to eat with us outside too! They were very grateful to escape the noisy and zoo-like cafeteria. I remember thinking that kids really do suck everything out of you and when you feel like you have nothing else to give, they manage to suck even more out of you........In a good way of course! It's amazing what we do or should do for our children. Being a mom is no easy task and not one to be regarded with ease. Motherhood is a slow and steady marathon........not a sprint. It's long, windy, up hill, down hill, full of cheering sections, absent of encouragement, exciting, boring, painful, joyful, sacrificial, and so much more.
This year, I want to focus on one true point of motherhood. If I'm gonna make it and if I want my kids to succeed then I must be sure of my SELF-WORTH! Vicki Courtney says it best in her book Your Son....."Perhaps the greatest gift a mother can give her son is a proper foundation for establishing self-worth. Unfortunately, many mothers are unable to give a their sons something that they, themselves, do not posses." This is so true for raising girls too! I meet extraordinary women everyday. Now, they don't find theirselves to be so but I can sense their true beauty right away! They come in many shapes and sizes: imperfect, tired, energetic, haven't showered in days, clean as a whistle, tasseled hair, loving spirit, available, messy homes, chefs, etc..............The most attractive and magnetic thing a woman can have is healthy confidence. I'm not talking about arrogant schmucks! (yes, schmuck is a strong word and in the dictionary)Please, let me run from those women. I'm talking about having confidence in what you CAN do and not focusing on all the little things you're unable to do. So what.......you don't cook and you don't clean,you don't sew, you're not crafty, you don't scrapbook, and you're not a 'stay at home mom' and you don't homeschool, and you don't, don't, don't!!! What do you do?!! You do things everyday to nurture and love your babies. Maybe you pack their lunches, zip up their coats, drive them to school, tuck them in each night, read stories to them, put toothpaste on their brush, comb their hair, smile at them when no one else is looking, pat their head as you breeze by in the kitchen. There are thousands of wonderful things that you do. Having meaningful conversations with you kids, especially your teens, is change in your pocket! And that can be a hard thing to do with our crazy schedules. My 7 year old always wants to talk to me while she is on the porcelain potty. Not my favorite time to talk but it works for her.........just do it!
Kids want to see confident moms. Be you and don't try and emulate the other moms out there. We are all different......thank goodness. You are not a perfect mom but you are "the perfect mom' for you kids. God put you in their lives because you understand them. "A mom understands what a child does not say". Only you know your child the best. If you have unique or challenging children........embrace them. Only you are equipped with the genes, patience, and temperment to truly love them. I can never love your child the way you do. But I can love my own kids in their own special way. I don't do many of the typical mom things well but.......I thrive on the things that I can do. I can make some killer cinnamon buns. I build incredible tents out of bed sheets (better than daddys....so my kids think). I snuggle the best and I drive my mini-van with skilled speed around corners, which causes everyone to feel like they are on a roller coaster. We love it!! Be you and your kids will be theirselves too. Don't you want your kids to grow in confidence?! You must model it first. God created you and thought about you years adn years before you were born. He believes in you and you should too.
As Mother's Day approaches I am constantly being reminded of the great responsibility that has been placed in these unsteady and unsure, yet willing hands. Almost makes me nautious to think about the great demands and influence that I have on these 3 delicate and kissable souls! But, I must take a minute out of my day and talk about BOYS!!!!!!! Go ahead and get ready to throw something at me for saying this but it's the truth.........."if you don't have any boys.....you're missing out!" Now, I'd have to say the same exact thing to a mom who was without girls. But to be so lucky to have both?! They are so diifferent and I love both sexes in their own unique ways. Some days I feel like girls are soooo much easier but then they throw a fit over clothing and itchiness and I turn to my son, who wears anything, and I think to myself "boys are so much easier." And the balance shifts the next day as my wonderful son jumps from couch to couch, knocking over lamps, and ending in a nose dive into wall with much tears. Even right now as I type this, my 4 year old boy is climbing all over me and wants more food! haaaaaaa.......love him!Now don't take this blog too seriously or you'll just turn into a grouch. Just read and relax.
So here are a few things that I have learned about boys!
1. If you have a secret or flaw, don't tell/show them.......they will tell everyone when you least want anyone to know! Linc loves to point out my bad breath, hole in my shorts, or arm sweat in his booming voice,and in front of lots of people. :-)
2. If you care about expensive toys, don't buy them for boys. Fortunatley we rarely buy expensive toys and we when we do......we know the possibilities. For example, the giant Buzz Light Year that we bought Linc for his 3rd bday. Buzz has been dissamebled, beat up by Iron Man (notice the red marks on him), and most parts ripped off of him. He will never fuction the same. I wonder if Linc will program Buzz to speak another language??
3. If you are hoping to take a nice snapshot for of your handsome boy to send to nanna/pappa.......think again. Expecting nice and tranquil smiles is unexpected. We settle for crazy smirks, hoping the tongue stayed in the mouth, at least!
4. If you're a mom who doesn't want gun toys in your home............hmmmm.......might be difficult. Before we ever bought Linc his first plastic gun, he was making them with his fingers, legos, sandwiches, and the girls' doll legs! It is born within them to fight and defend us! LOL Who taught him how to make a weapon?
5. Expect to be snuggled and kissed on the nose when you least expect it and need it the most. I snuggle my rough tumbler each day at nap time and I will never ask him to stop kissing my nose and counting my moles/freckles on my face. I think we are up to 13! I call them beauty marks! LOL
6. Expect to be wrestled. If you deny the boy wrestling then he will attack you, as you are exercising or bending over to sweep up dust into the dustpan. You will be wrestled! So, just pull your hair back and watch your nose, cause boys like to head-butt!
7. There is no such thing as neat or quiet bathtime. Our floors ended up flooded each time.........even when he is given a quick 5 mintue bath...........he knows every game and move that requires heavy splashing.
8. Etiquetee comes slowly and takes much patience. He doesn't hesitate to yell out that he doesn't have underwear on in the public restroom and for me to stop looking at his penis while he uses the restroom. Burping and tooting come at any moment.
9. Expect to hear wild stories from their teachers..........about you! I was at his Mom's day program at preschool and he told the teacher that mommy likes to kiss daddy (so far.....so good) but THEN he added that daddy likes to spank mommy! ooohhh my!!!
10. Finally, enjoy the roller coaster with boys. They are unique and special. Don't treat them like girls. However, they do eventually learn their mannors, learn to speak quietly in public, and they do turn into charming young men ...........just like their dads!