What Did You Say?!!!

Isn't it amazing what flows from the mouth of a child? Good thing I'm writing these quotes down, cause no one would ever believe me. I keep a little journal in my desk and write down quotes as the kids spit them out. They don't know that I write them down and can't wait to share them later in life. Then, at the end of each year, we put together a calendar for the grandparents with pictures and quotes from the kids. It's unbelievable. Not only do I journal, but the girls each have a journal too. They occassionally put them out and write down what they are thankful for. It's on-going and lasts every day of the year. The hope is to get 1000 items in each journal by the time they are teenagers. Lately, they've been writing some pretty cute things in their journals too. So here are some quotes and journal entries.......straight from thier mouths/hearts.

"Next week when I'm an adult, I'll charge my husband to go get me a coffee and muffin too!" Kennedy

"Mia, you can't be selfish all your life! You have to share with your sister!" Kennedy

"Relax Lincoln. Anything that you want....I'll get it!" Mia

"I'm not afraid of anything....except the dark!" Mia

"Man! I"m growing so big.....right now!" Lincoln

"I'm going to get very very mad if I go to timeout and I'm going to break your heart!" Lincoln

"I'm thankful for Dad; he tucks me in every night." Mia

"I wish I could turn time back." Kennedy

"I see the sun coming through the clouds and I think it's God's glory showing through- and the angels are returning." Kennedy

"I'm thankful that C.S. Lewis made the Narnia books." Mia

"After exercising, I'm going to throw up!" Lincoln

"I saw a dragonfly and so I piped up my courage to go and get it. He wanted to be my friend." Kennedy

"I'm thankful for Mrs. Clemson for buying me a banana at school. Everyone else had a cupcake and I can't eat them cause of my allergies and I had nothing." Kennedy

"I don't like when your muffins taste like earwax" Mia

"When no one is around and I have to obey, I feel something inside of me tell what to do- it's the Holy Spirit." Kennedy

"I'm thankful that I got sleep with my mom's blanket." Kennedy

"Why doesn't God talk to me now, like He did with Moses? I want to hear his voice now!" Mia

"I'm thankful for cake!" Lincoln

"I not a baby anymore...I'm a big boy! I'm a man!" Lincoln

"You know me, Mom! I'm an Alexander and I'm going to be okay!" Lincoln

After 15 Years and He is still Sexy, Inspiring, Interesting, and My Best Friend

It happened. Someone randomly walked up to me today and asked me an interesting question. She said "You're a pastor's wife right? Even though your husband is a pastor, does he still drive you crazy? Cause mine does!!" Well, I barely know the person but decided to just let it all out. I said "yes he does, but we still love eachother and selflessly work at it each and everyday. Marriage is so very hard!" We then began to converse about marriage and why her's was so difficult at the moment. She was open and transparent and I really appreciated that. Hard to get that from most Christians; but a complete stranger was being vulnerable with me and I was eating it up!!
After 15 years, does he drive me crazy? I think we both have days where we drive one another bonkers......kind of like a brother and sister. It's not mean, bitter, or full of spite. It's just 2 people living together who happen to be selfish. But yes, going to Hawaii with him and celebrating 15 years was worth it; and we are growing closer each day. I am still very attracted to him. I find his messages and dreams to be inspiring. I love our conversations. They are not filled with meaningless words and ideas of coexisting. They are words that touch and change our hearts. Conversations about changing lives, kids growing up, taking care of the less fortunate, helping our friends, and sometimes full of heated disagreements. At the end of the day.........we have learned more about one another and chosen to be on the same team. At the end of the day........he is still by best friend and I can't wait to go on another trip in 5 years!! whoot whoot!

Who Invites Their In-Laws for 5 Weeks?

Most of my friends thought I had gone clinically insane because we invited my in-laws to stay for 5 weeks. The most common response was "their not staying with you right........in a hotel, right?" Well, after 15 years of marriage, many vacations together and many 2 week visits in the same home.....we decided it was time to spend some more time together. The fact is, both our families live on the other side of the country. Might as well live in Africa cause none of us can afford to come see one another as often as we'd like. We can understand and appreciate how much the grandparents mean to our kids! The LOVE their grandparents and let's be honest.....grandparents are not around forever. We want our kids to soak up as much wisdom and time with their grandparents as possible. Now, I have to admit; we have amazing grandparents. Living together is not as difficult as it could be. Things are not perfect; but we pretty much respect one another's boundaries and appreicate the time together.

The visit was filled with trick or treating, craft projects, sewing together (Nanna and girls), long walks to the park, teaching kids how to ride bikes, P.F. Chang visits, bday celebrations, Christmas shopping, tree decorating, Thanksgiving cooking, snuggles in the kids' rooms, late nights of card games, hot tub talks, putting up lights, making ginger bread houses,wrestling with Pappa, reading with Nanna, and many other endless memories. One just can't put a price tag on the memories that were created last month. We will all treasure those moments forever.

Adding Up the Letters

Funny how letters are so infrequently written and texts and emails are abundant and endless. When was the last time you received an actual written letter or 'snail mail'? I enjoy receiving letters from my kids..........yes, the ones who still live under this roof! They will occasionally leave letters for me. I will find one neatly tucked up next to my sink, sure not to miss it. I thought I would publish a few since they are so stinking adorable!

Mom,
Today was a bad day but I will fix it.
Love,
Mia

Okay, so this broke my heart. Yes, it was a full day of kids arguing, endless time outs and many talks.

Dear Mom,
Thank you for your note. I enjoyed it. I love you. gust for your inforemation- I love you more! Don't even copy me when I say I love you more. have a fun fall break. well, the rest of it. by by.
Love,
Kennedy

So yes, I save these notes and hide them away in my Kids' Book of Quotes. I
often pull it out and read the quotes and letters; it's good for my soul. Here is one last letter that KK wrote to Mia, right after we moved from Atlanta, back to Phoenix. Talk about a whirlwind for my kids!!!

Dear Mia,
I know your scared of going to church. I am but all you have to do is sit next to me at church or just stay home.
Love,
Kennedy

This one made me laugh. It took Kennedy about 6 weeks before she would go into her class without crying. She so desperately wanted Mia to go with her, but Mia in in the 1st grade room. It's not smooth as butter, but much better today.

Love to see my girls write about their feelings!!

Hiding Among Us

"It is the hidden heart, not the selfish heart, that is hardest to change." John Ortberg. How true this statement is. What is really going on in Mia, Kennedy, and Lincoln's hearts?? Only He knows. I'm constantly praying over their little souls and begging for His molding and shaping to take place, regardless of my ill-parenting. I'm hoping I'm always fortunate enough to know and understand their hearts, their passions, and my kids' fears. Hoping their hearts are never hidden from me. I love this age cause they hold nothing back and let everything go!! Kennedy has no shame in collecting bugs, Mia says everything outloud and Lincoln expresses himself in his gestures, voices, and touch. This is a great moment to be living in.

Breaking Away to the Mountains

Again, one of my favorite vacations and it was virtually free and simple. We escaped to northern Arizona and stayed in a friend's cabin. Thanks to their generosity, we were able to steal away and have some family fun. Each day the girls woke up to check their cardboard mailboxes for fun prizes. I stashed up at the Dollar Store. We went for a hike in the rain, had hot cocoa, a fire, watched new movies, played Corn Hole, played at the park, ate Red Devil Pizza, and played Uno Attack! The best part was having a fire at lunch time and roasting hotdogs and then putting kids to bed while we played Corn Hole and drank some ice cold beverages. Watching my girls explore the outdoors and thrive was vacation enough for me. We love to be outside, soaking up the fresh air and drinking the warm sunshine. Looking forward to many more vacations like this one.

Yes, We Had a Guinea Pig Birthday Party

Kennedy insisted on a birthday party for her beloved guinea pig, Prince Terrian. So, we shaved carrots, peeled apples, and put together a salad of delight for the great Prince. We took pictures and had a blast. The best part was when daddy stepped into kitchen to find a scorpion staring him down. He froze and asked for a weapon. Instead of giving him the cutting board, I decided to smash the sucker myself. Well, I guess I threw the board a bit too hard and parts of the scorpion went flying towards daddy. Well, he freaked and knocked a glass off of the bar and we spent a few minutes cleaning up pieces of dead scorpion and broken glass...LOL

Books, Doors, and Paper Glasses

I can' believe how fast my kids are growing up. I found this sign posted on the girls' bedroom door the other day. They are making signs to keep their little brother out. It's like they are pre-teens or something. They even made one for Lincoln's door. Not only are they making signs but reading like crazy. Kennedy is reading through all of the Chronicles of Narnia and reading each book within 2-3 days. I think the librarian doesn't believe her.....LOL. Their school has a program called Accelerated Reader, in which kids read book and take reading test. Well, this is a great way of keeping track of their reading levels and how many words and books they have read. Kennedy, the only 2nd grader in her school, is trying to read 1,000,000 words this year. There is a Million Word club but it's mostly accompanied by 4th and 5th graders. Well I told KK I'd give her $20 bucks if she accomplished this massive goal; both sets of grandparents agreed to do the same. So, KK is saving up to buy another American Girl Doll and she is already at 400,000 words!! Everytime I turn around, she has a book in her face. I love it and Mia is starting to do the same thing. Speaking of Mia, she has been wearing these paper glasses and they just make our hearts melt. She couldn't look any sweeter!

And He's Off........to Preschool

Well, my baby has survived the first quarter of preschool and is loving it. He awakes each to ask if it's a preschool day. He is then very disappointed when it's not a preschool day. He loves his teacher, Mrs. Delongchamp. But most of all, I love how he says her name. He walks in and yells "hey 'delongchamp'!!" Oh gosh, gotta love him. When he is at home, he will randomly comment that he 'loves Mrs. Longchamp'. I love that he is comfortable and loving his preschool.

You Must First Kiss the Frog to Become the ..........................

I believe each and everyone of us share many things in common but one of the most revealing character traits about humans is PRIDE. John 3:30 says "He must increase and I must decrease" Phil. 4:12, Paul states that "I know how to be brought low and I know how to abound." Isn't it true that God does His best in us when we are truly broken before Him and feel as though we have nothing to offer? We must first come to a point in our lives where realize that, without Him, we do have NOTHING to offer. Read these statements about Proud vs. Broken People and see what side your heart falls on. I found myself in the proud side, more that I had hoped. So it's true, you must humble yourself and 'kiss the toad of humility' before you enter the Kingdom as a growing and maturing Prince/Princess.

Got this from a bookmark that was published by Revive our Hears by Nancy Leigh Demoss
Ps. 51:17 The sacrifices of God are of a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, thous will not despise


Proud People = pp
Broken People= bp

pp focus on failures of others, bp overwhelmed with sense of their own spiritual need

pp have critical, fault finding spirit; look at everyone else's faults with a microscope, but their own with a telescope. bp are compassionate, can forgive much because they know how much they have been forgiven

pp are self-righteous, look down on others, bp esteem all others better than themselves

pp are independent, self-sufficient in spirit, bp have a dependent spirit; recognize their need for others

pp have to prove that they are right; bp willing to yield the right to be right

pp claim rights; have a demanding spirit. bp yield their rights and have a meek spirit

pp are self -protective of their time, their rights and their reputation. bp are self-denying

pp desire to be served. bp are motivated to serve others.

pp desire success. bp are motivated to be faithful and to make others succeed!!

pp desire self-advancement. bp desire to promote others

pp have a drive to be recognized and appreciated. bp have a sense of their own unworthiness, thrilled that God would use them at all.

pp wounded when others are promoted and they are overlooked. bp eager for others to get credit; rejoice when others are lifted up

pp have a subconscious feeling, "this ministry/church is privileged to have me and my gifts." they think of what they can do for God. bp heart attitude is "I don't deserve to have a part in any ministry" they know that they have nothing to offer God except the life of Jesus flowing through their broken lives.

pp feel confident in how much they know. bp are humbled by how very much they have to learn

pp are self-conscious. bp are not concerned with self at all!

pp keep others at arms' length. bp are willing to risk getting close to others and to take risks of loving intimately.

pp are quick to blame others. bp accept personal responsibility and can see where they are wrong in a situation.

pp are unapproachable or defensive when criticized. bp receive criticism with a humble, open spirit

pp are concerned with being respectable, with what others think; work to protect their own image and reputation. bp are concerned with being real; what matters to them is not what others think but what God knows; are willing to die to their own personal reputation.

pp find it difficult to share their spiritual need with others. bp willing to be open and transparent with others as God directs

pp want to be sure that no one finds out when they have sinned; their instinct is to cover up. bp, once broken, don't car who knows or who finds out; are willing to be exposed because they have nothing to lose

pp have a hard time saying "I was wrong; will you please forgive me?". bp quick to admit failure and to seek forgiveness when necessary

pp tend to deal in generalities when confessing sin. bp able to acknowledge specifics when confessing their sin

pp concerned about the consequences of their sin. bp grieved over the cause, the root of their sin.

pp are remorseful over their sin, sorry that they got 'found out' or caught. bp truly, genuinely repentant over their sin, evidenced in the fact that they forsake that sin.

pp wait for the other to come and ask forgiveness when there is a misunderstanding or conflict in a relationship. bp take the initiative to be reconciled when there is misunderstanding or conflict in relationships; they race to the cross; they see if they can get there first, no matter how wrong the other may have been

pp compare themselves with others and feel worthy of honor. bp compare themselves to the holiness of God and feel a desperate need for His mercy.

pp are blind to their true heart condition. bp walk in light

pp don't think they have anything to repent of. bp realize they have need of a continual heart attitude of repentance

pp don't think they need revival, but are sure that everyone else does. bp continually sense their need for a fresh encounter with God and for a fresh filling of His Holy Spirit

Caught in the Grip

Remember when you were growing up and someone would yell "hey, what are YOU staring at?!!" It would happen when your body froze, jaw slipped down, and your eyes went into a lazy tranz. Often you were off on another planet but appeared to be staring at the individual who was now poking you. I find myself just caught in my kids grip. I am completely mesmerized when they get to conversing and playing. Have you ever just become totally invisible in your kids presence and you find yourself soaking up their spirits as they flutter and fleet within the moment? The other night Kennedy got out of bed for the 10th time and came into my room. I was just sitting on my bed reading and Paul was in the kitchen blogging. My initial thought was to send her directly back to bed but for some reason I laid down my book. She just wanted to chat. She went on and on telling me how "she felt close to nature". She had been exploring in the backyard that day and was feeling especially cognizant of her earthly appreciations. Surely she is a scientist in the making. But anyhow, she went on to discuss lots of her feelings. She told me that she couldn't wait to grow up because "she could go to Starbucks whenever she wanted, spend money, and have kids.....having kids would be the fun part!" Oh my. I was completely overtaken with all the things she was saying and watching the rise and fall of each eyebrow and the flicker of all her sandy eyelashes protecting her chocolate eyes. I wanted that moment to last forever. I hoped she would sit there for an eternity. She leaned against my legs and just casually released all her dreams and aspirations. They floated up into the air like fairy dust. I was caught in her grip. It happens with all my kids. Either Lincoln is explaining to me how much he missed me while he was at preschool, or Mia singing one of her new songs about "Jan World" as her deep blue pools of blue captivate my soul. Capturing that moment and seeping in their countenance at that perfect time, hearing their sweet voices, and having the time to just relish the memory..........priceless

Inside the Cup

Not sure if you are a coffee drinker, tea drinker, or just plain old water. But the Alexanders love all of the above, especially coffee. Some of our favorite past time memories have birthed within the 4 walls of a coffee shop. A few years ago Paul and I skipped out early from a Christmas party for coffee and cards at a local Starbucks with our good friends, Gokees. Well, to no one's surprise, I play cards at an exuberant level. Well, I became so excited that I accidently spilled my hot coffee...........in Paul's lap. And to top it off, I also snagged my necklace on my pinky and beads flew everywhere. Needless to say, the loud chuckles and belly laughs drowned out Paul's grave disappointment with his new 'hot pants'. That is so typical for me! Believe it or not, we spill out each day, emotionally, verbally, and spiritually. I've recently been challenged to think about the types of things 'spilling' out of me. John Ortberg wrote "When someone bumps into me, what spills out of me reveals what is inside of me." Hmmm......so how do I respond when life or people bump into me?? For some reason, I have a magnet on my forehead that reads "all rude people, please be rude to me!". Well that is precisely how some days feel. Just the other day I was in Paradise Bakery, when a young woman approached our table and blurted out "I want you guys to know we have a 6 month old sitting on our laps and no high chair for him." Apparently, that was her way of asking for Lincoln's child seat.So we took our toddler out of his chair, put him in our laps and gave her the seat. She is entitled to it and more important than us, right? Wrong!!!!!! I was steaming like an engine when she walked away and fortunately my husband was there or..........who knows! I was bumped into that day and love, patience, and even gentleness did not spill out of me. There was certainly stuff spilling out of me; but it was pride, anger, disgust, and self-righteousness. I mean, who talks to people like that?! Everyday we are buzzing through life and jolting this way and that way. We are always going to be rubbed the wrong way, whether it's in a relationship, job, or some brief encounter with a stranger. We can't control their tone or what they say but we can most certainly choose our words and soften our actions. Next time I'm hoping to spill out something that is healthy and contagious.

There Is More To You than You Know

Any guesses on where the title came from? Hint.....Lord of the Rings...Gandalf states this Biblo Baggins. I think we, as parents need to be reminded of this same concept and spend time remembering that there is more to our children than we know too. If you know me really well, then you know that one of my deepest passions is for my children to grow up and become warriors for Christ. Our world that we now know will not be one we recognize when our kids grow up and they will be TESTED IN THEIR FAITH. I want my kids to represent Him at ALL costs. Just finished a book that supports that and encourages parents to take heart and begin parenting by gazing into your children's spiritual condition before you try sculpting their outsides. In Spiritual Parenting, Michelle Anthony quotes "The danger in merely focusing on our children's outward behavior without the inner transformation is that sometimes our children will align their behavior to our mandates to please us or receive approval. Without this supernatural transformation, we may have moral or obedient children, but we don't necessarily have spiritual children." Booo-yaaaa! Oh my! I see lots of kids today who are obedient robots and when they leave home........well, "all hell breaks loose!". A deep fear that I have. I am constantly talking, in particular with my eldest, about the 'whys' and the 'how comes'. I want to know why she does things and what she is feeling and what she believes the bible says about such things. I don't want an unemotional robot. I want them to truly fall in love with Christ. In the book Spiritual Parenting she talks about passing on a faith to her kids that would:

1. allow her children to know and hear God's voice, discerning it from others
2. they would desire to obey Him when they heard His voice
3. they would obey Him not in their own power, but in the power of the Holy Spirit.

I would agree. I can only hope and pray that I don't mess them up; hoping that they will some day be able to arrive at this station in life. I don't want to be a parent who practices 'sin management'. Instead, I'd like to "cultivate environments for my children's faith to grow, teaching them how to cultivate a love relationship with Jesus as I cultivate my own, living my life authentically in front of them so that they become eyewitnesses to my own transformation." M. Anthony

So yes, I'm pretty excited to be reading up on some fresh material on parenting. Paul and I are in the process of re-examining our family values and creating intentional 'rites of passages' for all 3 of our children. Also check out Raising a Trailblazer by Dr. Virginia Friesen. Both excellent pieces of literature that present transferable ideas that any family can use!! Parenting can be joyful and I'm learning to relax a little and of course remember that I am NOT in the drivers seat in life. My creator is the one providing the opportunities and the tools for me to use. And there is no guarantee. Let's see where this journey takes us. Needless to say, I spend almost each night in prayer and begging for blessings upon my children. I am a very imperfect parent, to say the least!

Something fun that I just started doing this week is writing love notes on the mirror with Expo markers for my family. The kids love it and they will soon be writing notes too!! yahoo!

And He's Off.................

Linc. finally emerged into "preschool" and he is off and running, literally. On the 1st day, I was the first parent to leave the room after drop off. The others were mooing around and clinging and hugging and watching with gulped eyes. Not me. Linc. gave me a quick and sloppy kiss on the lips and said "you can leave Mom, you no stay!". Okay, so I took off to go enjoy a run in my neighborhood. Now, I must admit, my heart was breaking as I said good-bye and watched my youngest chick leave the nest. But he is ready and I think I should be too, right?! And you will be too one day, when your youngest flies away. I think these little 'rites of passages' prepares us for the future. One day, all of my kids are going to move out and permenantly leave. I"m obviously not ready for that huge step now; but I'm practicing with preschool and elementary school and someday camp and so forth. baby steps, baby steps..........

You Are My Sunshine

Boy am I wrapped around his cute little finger. As if it isn't bad enough, he is now singing to me each day. It's so hard to get this little man to lay down for naps or for night time. So he likes to prolong the process by asking me to come 'nuggle' him. Yes, he wants some snuggles. While lying down next to him, he gives me his prized possession, his monkey, and then he begins to kiss my arm, my shoulder, my hand, and my cheek. I usually like to sing to him and he has finally started singing back to me. He now sings "you are my sunshine" right back to me. Wow! totally breaks my heart and locks in that already strong bond. At night time he sits as his door and sings aloud to me, hoping I will come get him out of bed. It doesn't work but it sure does sound cute! He sings like me, off key and loud!

There is just something special about a mommas love with her son. I guess this is the same bond that Paul has with our daughters. It's so special and most certainly eternal. Sometimes you meet a mother who has lost her child. She lost more than the child, she has lost a part of herself. It's impossible to lose a child and remain completely whole, in my inexperienced opinion. I look at these kids of mine and just want to hold on so tight and keep them from ever leaving, getting hurt, getting lost, or even growing up sometimes. I just wanna hug on their necks and never let go. Of course, that would be completely selfish, debilitating, and incredibly cruel. I have to let go each and everyday. They are gifts to me from up above. I thank my God for each day I have with them. and the song ends with "...and please don't take my sunshine away..." Lincoln keeps saying, "I not taking your sunshine away, mommy."

Family Camp!

Have you ever heard of Family Camp? Yep, the entire family went to camp this year. Before we even left, Kennedy said to me "Mom, when will Mia and I go without our parents?" Oh my, I"m thinking "we haven't even left yet and you want to know when you can offload your parents?!!". That's my independent child for ya! Thanks to some very dear and incredibly generous friends, we were able to go for free. We never would have been able to scrape it up this year. Family Camp in Forest Home, CA is an ingenious idea!! Kids went to VBS like classes in the morning while we went to a session. Then we met up for lunch and spent the next 6 hours swimming, kayaking, hiking, playing in the creek, fishing, traveling the ropes course, rock climbing, drinking coffee..........whatever we wanted to as a family!! Evening time was nice for us to go to another session or just hang while kids were cared for by a CCA (child care assistant). The camp provides one for each family.

I watched Kennedy come alive in the outdoors. The girls have been complaining for years, as we make them hike every year. But it is finally growing on them and all Kennedy wanted to do was hike and explore the woods. Mia made it clear that "she doesn't do fishing!" I had to laugh. But she sure did take the plunge and zoomed down the crazy high slide into the lake first! Kennedy soon followed with great hesitation and then Linc took the dare. Kennedy rock climbed for the 1st time and loved it. She enjoyed doing a ropes course. In fact, all 5 of us were up in the air walking on ropes and ladders. My stomach was all in knots due to my fear of heights but how could I tell a 7 year old how scared I was?!! She was so brave!

Getting away, turning off the phones, putting DVDs away, and just enjoying the outdoors was exactly what we needed. We are beginning to readdress our family goals and start updating them. I'm getting ready to read a book called Raising A Trailblazer. We we would like to become more intentional with rites of passages in our kids' lives. (ages 10, 13, 16, 18). Each year will allow us to teach our children some key character traits and leadership qualities that lie within them. We want to challenge them to use them for His glory!! Well, that's a whole other blog!!