Real Hope

In my devotional today I read.........."Give up the illusion that you deserve a problem-free life. Part of you is still hungering for the resolution of all difficulties. This is a false hope! As I told My disciples, in the world you will have trouble. Link you hope not to problem solving in this life but to the promise of an eternity of problem -free life in heaven." Sarah Young....Jesus Calling. I like to cling to Romans 5:3...."We rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character and character produces hope and hope does not put us to shame because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." No shame here! I'm reminded that I cannot cling to resolution or trying to understand why people act and hurt the way they do. I keep thinking of that old, silly song from my mom's time period "I never promised you a rose garden....". God never promised us a life of luxury and ease. Instead I expect opposition and resistance. Before this week came about, I had just come off of a fast and prayed for "God to wreck my life for Him." yikes! what on earth was I thinking? I'm just tired of not feeling challenged (totally my fault) and feeling like I don't sacrifice anything for my savior. I'm still not really giving up much for Him. This time period is difficult and so painful right now but I have to stay the course as I know that the more cracks that my life/vase has in it.........the more my light can shine out to others. Without those cracks, no light would escape from the vase. So, I guess I embrace the new cracks and changes. We shall ride the wave into the storm...........together. I'm so curious as to what He is going to do with us? What will I be writing about in 3 months? Where will we be? Who will we be serving? I'm a little excited. Life is a journey. :-)

Big Birthday Bash

Well, I guess birthdays are a pretty big deal in the Alexander House. I'm telling ya, it's worse than Christmas. Our kids ask about their bdays all year long. They cannot wait. It's not that we spend gobs of money, rent lost of fancy equipment, or throw gigantic parties with 20dollar party favors..............it's just that we make it seem so amazing. At this age, they are easy to please! (thank goodness) So, we emailed out some friends/family and had them write notes to Kennedy. We then snuck out to Krogers at 5:45 in the morning to buy 3 dozen helium balloons and attached the notes to the balloons. We then arranged all the balloons in the KK's room. Whens she awoke, she was surrounded by words of love. Breakfast was gf/df donuts, pancakes, and bacon. Lunch was at a restaurant that served gf/df food. Dinner was her favorite, spaghetti! She begged for 3 things for her bday. She wanted a locket with our pictures in it, a harmonica, and a guinea pig. She saved her allowance for the pet and we bought the cage etc...........Needless to say, she was thrilled. And, yes, I made a fairy cake at her request. Pappa and Nanna came and we've had a really nice time celebrating the bday! I think every child should feel this special, especially on his/her bday. Why not?! Making someone feel special cost us nothing, except time and words. Those are 2 things that we feel blessed to give. I was able to give her time this weekend but am not promised tomorrow. Just making the most of the time we do have. Love you Kennedy Berlynn Alexander!

Moving Forward........one day at a time

So, now what??!! First things first.........Chattanooga Aquarium. Since our stay in Atlanta is much shorter than ever anticipated, I guess we best enjoy all the tourist stuff while we can. And so.........we hit the aquarium with some fun friends who showed us around! We spent all day looking at fish, chasing Lincoln, admiring the sharks, feeding otters, running in the park, eating ice cream, and talking. It was a much needed time for our family!

Unexpected Loss

I have had the honor and privilege to walk through times with other friends. I've been able to observe and listen. At times, I was even able to add input (which now I wonder what on earth I was talking about?) Here I walk through challenging times. I wouldn't go as far as to call these times 'tragic', but certainly challenging. These tough moments are causing Paul and I to lean into Christ even more and into one another. It's actually been a bit of a blessing. Of course it stinks that we don't have a job. But we do have one another. We can conquer anything together! As I tracked off this morning to do my daily run, I began thinking "what are the questions I should be asking as I walk/run this road?" I believe it's important to ask: "What do You want to teach me, God?" "What can I take from this experience that will alter my future in a positive way?" and "How can my actions in this situation bring more glory to Your Name?" Now, I have to admit, these are not the questions I asked myself the night Paul told me the news. I was angry, hurt, frustrated and ready go into hot debate......... I've found that it's just fine to feel those things............but I have to allow my Father to guide those emotions and bring them back to Him. I must cling to IICor. 12:9 "My Grace is sufficient for you and my power is made perfect in weakness" Paul goes on to say "Therefore I will boast of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak , then I am strong." So here you have it..........pull up your "big girl boots" and deal with the insults and hardships. In perspective.....we don't deserve anything....except hell. I would be so foolish to say "but, we don't deserve this awful moment, God!!" I imagine, He might say "you are right, you deserve worse..." Staying away from feelings of entitlement, pride, and a deep pity party, are wise actions for us. It's time to press on and look for the road out and onto more. I'm 35 years old and have a lot to learn and lot of life to live. There is a lot left on my dash. I don't want to be so foolish as to think that God has already done His best in us and we are finished. As devastating as this whole thing has been, I must believe Jer.29:11, He has a future for us and plans to prosper us! His plans always include Him, which means LOTS of humble pie for me. I have to admit, as much as I love pie and desserts, humble pie tastes awful going down and I feel so full right now. Don't think I can eat anther piece.

We Love our Daddy

I wish I had taped all of it cause as we finished singing, Kennedy blurted out "eat more chicken!". OH, it was sooooooo funny.

Pass Go, Play in Snow

At last minute and with a hair brain idea, we decided to drive up to VA the day after Christmas and visit grandparents. It really was a fun adventure. We played in the snow and daddy built a sled out of cardboard. We pushed the girls down the hill and threw snowballs. We were also able to teach the kids how to play with a new Christmas toy, Monopoly. This is the first game ever, that Kennedy has enjoyed. I think she likes collecting money from everyone! She's just like her daddy!! It really was a nice break away from normal and crazy life. :-)

The Real Parent

I was thinking to myself today........"What parent would actually choose the harder road for their child? Only the Parent who could see the future would choose such difficulties, monstrosities, and challenges. That Parent would not be me......it would be God. He can see the future of my 3 kids and so it's okay to see and know the things that are happening right now. As I write this, I wonder if I'm making the best choices for my kids. This is where being a parent means digging in your heals and letting the bigger Parent take the wheel, cause with my skills we'd drive off the cliff or something. I read in Sarah Young's book today,

"I (God) am able to do far beyond all that you ask or imagine. Come to Me with positive expectations, knowing that there is no limit to what I can accomplish. Ask My Spirit to control you mind, so that you can think great thoughts of Me. Do not be discouraged by the fact that many of your prayers are yet unanswered. Time is a trainer, teaching you to wait upon Me, to trust Me in the dark. The more extreme the circumstances, the more likely you are to see My Power and Glory at work in the situation."

That was just what I needed. As I mentioned earlier in one of my blogs, the girls have some pretty severe allergies and it has become quite apparent that their immunological systems are rejecting the healthy things and beginning to power down (esp. Mia's). The traditional medicine just doesn't work these days for the more complex issues. I have felt that some medical professionals only want to treat symptoms and not examine the real root. I'm hoping and praying that I have found a medical professional that has examined the root of these issues and will be able to help the girls. I found a chiropractic neurologist, thanks to a good friend. He works with all 3 systems: neurological, immunological, and hormonal system. All three effect one another. I'm hoping healing is on the way. It's expensive and a huge leap of faith or possibly stupidity! It's amazing what moms will do for their babies and we know, better than anyone else, when they are not feeling well and that something just isn't right. "Lord, grant me the strength that Isaiah mentions so that I may mount up with wings like eagles and run and not be weary!"

Yes, It Gets Cold Here Too!

I took a picture of the girls as they headed out to the bus stop one morning. They look like little snowmen all bundled up in their gear. It takes us about 5 minutes to get our gear on. Then take a peek at the fountain outside Barnes and Noble. It is frozen and Kennedy had too much fun sticking her fingers in it and trying to lick it. I was envisioning The Christmas Story when the little boy's tongue froze to the pole. We were lucky though, no frozen tongues. However, I about busted on the sidewalk, wearing my fancy new boots! They are cute boots but not practical and I can't believe they haven't heard of salt here in GA!!!

Santa Baby!!

So we went with friends to Barnes and Noble to peek at Santa. Linc was the first one to run up to the chubby fellow and jump in his lap. Linc. then preceded to act "too cool" for Santa. All three kids huddled around old Santa and shared their visions of Christmas. Of course they all three mentioned toys that I had never heard of and did not purchase. Good thing that they know Santa is not real. However, I do think they are trying to believe. They begged for us to leave cookies again this year and warned daddy by saying "no eating the cookies dad; they're for Santa!!". I have a feeling I'll be eating the cookies this year!

Her Name Means Joy

Right now you'd never know that her name meant joy. Mia has been so sick that a smile has hardly been visible. She has been asking to head to bed around 6pm and lying around the house each day. It has been terribly sad to see a 5yr old turn down cookies, hot cocoa, and movies. Since Thanksgiving, our home has entertained such viruses as: pneumonia, flu, double ear infections, sinus infections, food poisoning, 104 temps, puking, and other "unknown" viruses. We spent 6 hrs in Urgent Care on Saturday with needle pricks, x-rays, and no news............just a virus. Today was spent at pediatricians office taking urine tests, flu swabs, and blood pressures. All 3 kids are sick. We know that Kennedy has the flu and a double ear infection. Lincoln probably has the flu and no news on Mia. So we are watching this week to see if the fever will go down and stay down. I'm hoping. I had big plans for this week. I was thinking gingerbread houses, Christmas Shopping, baking cookies with friends, and heading to the movies. Instead we are sipping down Pedialite, tylenol, couging, crying, and sleeping. Every night 2 out of 3 kids are awake. Last night I stared at Paul while all 3 kids cried and I said "pinch me so that I can wake up; this isn't really my life". I was joking of course. A mother only wishes health for her kids. I wish I could carry all these viruses instead of the kids. Somehow, I know that I could still plug along and get everything done........on pure stuborness. Unfortunately, the little ones cannot carry these germs and maintain any happiness. They are miserable. I wanted to blog about this so that next year I may look back remain thankful for health. I'm hoping 2011 brings many healthy days ahead!

Time Spent..........Priceless

Every time the grandparents visit, our girls load them up with books and insist on hours upon hours of reading. It's fun now that the girls can read to the grandparents too. While Grandma and Grandpa visited in November, many hours were spent reading. These are pretty precious times for us and we are so thankful that the kids have grandparents that will sit and read.

Keeping Traditions Alive

Thanks to Grandma, we always do a Gingerbread house with the kids. This is the 1st year that Lincoln was able to participate and boy did he participate!! He ate most of the candy and was even pulling it off of the house and eating it after the girls had placed it on. It's not a very creative house but it's just for fun and the kids love it! This year we will also start making our own house from scratch and putting all sorts of brick walls and candy fences on. We shall practice for next year!! We are getting very serious about it now! Just kidding. Thanks Grandma Debbie for always keeping the tradition going. :-)

1st Place at School and Honorable Mention at District Level

Just by chance our girls entered the Reflections Art contest at school, back in September. Kennedy submitted a drawing and Mia took a picture. Kennedy did not place, but we were still so proud of her for trying and Mia's photo took 1st place at the school. She was then promoted to the District Level and her photo took Honorable Mention. How funny! She didn't even really care and yet her photo placed! This was a great lesson for Kennedy. Kennedy is actually the artist in the family and she said to us as we drove to Mia's ceremony "how come I never win anything and Mia wins everything?" I reminded her that this is the only contest she has ever entered and that we should celebrate a win for our friends and/or family at all times. So she decided to put on the happy smile and celebrate her sister's victory. A good lesson to learn.

Adding A New Tradition to the Alexander Home.......The Jesse Tree

What is a Jesse Tree? The Jesse Tree is named from Isaiah 11:1: "A shoot will spring forth from the stump of Jesse, and a branch out of his roots." It is a vehicle to tell the Story of God in the Old Testament, and to connect the Advent Season with the faithfulness of God across 4,000 years of history. visit http://www.crivoice.org/jesse.html to read more on it and to get ideas for your own tree. Well, I guess one might find the whole idea a bit "hokey" but I love it. I've been contemplating over the years what to do for an advent calendar in December. I thought about giving elf gifts each day that were hiding on the tree, giving treats each night, and all sorts of expensive and crazy ideas! But this will be our 1st year counting down the days with bible stories and ornaments to match each story. The Jesse Tree sits by our dining room table and is already decorated with 25 ornaments that correlate with the Jesus Storybook Bible. I love that bible cause each story points to the King. That is what we use for family devotions and the girls recognize it. So we finished making our ornaments for the tree today and the girls are very excited. Now, we put our own twist on the Jesse Tree and took stories from OT and NT. We went right up to the crucifixion. I think it's important to remember WHY Jesus was born. So, we'll give it a whirl this year and begin a new "Tradition" in the Alexander home!

Tradition, Tradition, Tradition!!!!!!!!

It's kind of funny that I'm all about 'tradition' since I am NOT a rule keeper or follower. I love to break the rules, however, I also love our family traditions. I actually get a bit uptight if we have to deviate from our prized traditions. We always put our live tree up the day after Thanksgiving. It's so much fun and a great way to kick off the Christmas season after Turkey day is over. And of course, the tree get's a 'new' look each year. I like to hit Target or Joannes after the holidays and spend about 20 bucks buying new items for the tree the following year. Well this year, birds are in for us! We have birds, nests, and burlap ribbon running through the tree. The girls adored the birds as much as I did. I even picked up a few new ornaments for their own tree. Each year the girls decorate a tree in their room and put up very sentimental ornaments that have been purchased throughout the years for them. Because I have 2 older girls, they goo- goo and gaa-gaa over silly things like fairy ornaments and tinsel. So, we kept to tradition and the tree went up! It's the most beautiful tree that Paul has ever picked out. Funny thing.......he got it at Lowes with a gift card that we've been saving.
One other tradition is that we always open stockings on Christmas Eve morning. I just LOVE Christmas and it's hard to wait!! So the kids wake up on Christmas Eve morning, we eat a big breakfast, and we open the STUFFED stockings. I'm not talking about dollar tree items either. It's jammed with movies, lip gloss, new Christmas Pajamas, games, markers, coloring books, etc........then they put on the new pjs, slide in the movie, and spend the rest of the day playing with the new toys that were shoved into the stocking. Now on Christmas morning we don't have stockings but do have the gifts. Our kids get 3 gifts from us. We figured 3 gifts were good enough for Jesus and so 3 is good enough for them. Well, we know he probably got tons of gifts, but only 3 were worth mentioning. hahahaha. So now you can understand why we don't go cheap on stockings. They only open 3 packages from us on Christmas Day. Paul and I don't usually exchange gifts but we do open stockings on Christmas Eve. We'd rather spend the dough on the kids!!! We have all year to give to one another :-)

Oh, oh, oh........one more thing. We don't do Ho, Ho, Ho. I know we are so bad!! We refuse to let some imaginary fellow get credit for all the wonderful things we buy. So, they know it's us. However, each year, they leave cookies for 'Santa' and then ask daddy the next day if he ate them. And of course, we can't lie. So we tell the truth and then they become angry cause daddy ate 'Santa's' cookies. It's so funny. I guess we are messing up our kids because we don't ride the hokey 'Santa' wave like everyone else out there. It's just so hard to pay that much attention to a fake, portly fellow in an outdated red sweat suit who has nothing to do with the Birth of our Savior. Oh well, I guess we are a bit old fashioned. I bet our kids will grow up and decorate their homes to the hilt with Santa stuff and do Santa forever because we did not!!ahaha

Thanksgivng With Friends

Isn't is amazing that you can go almost 4 years without seeing someone and just get together and pick up right where you left off? I love that. We were in a small group with the Jarrells when we lived in Ohio. We have kept in contact on fb occasionally......... and now here we are in the same home playing Catan/cards, cooking together, and decorating our family Christmas Tree. Debbie actually made the wreath that is hanging on my door right now. It's crazy how you can spend a small amount of time (less than 2 years) getting to know a family and yet feel like the best part of the relationship takes place after you move apart. I think back to our relationships and it seems like they become solid after we move apart. Staying in touch doesn't mean a phone call each day but picking up occasionally where you left off and it feeling like you never missed a beat. This past Thanksgiving may have been one of my favorites. I'm looking forward to growing my relationships in AZ, now that we have moved away. I feel like there are many great things to come.

Really Radical

I'm reading Radical by David Platt and it's refreshing. He wrote "Let's put ourselves in the shoes of these eager followers (disciples)of Jesus in the first century. What if I were the potential disciple being told to drop my nets? What if I were the man that Jesus told to not even say good-bye to his family? What if we were told to hate our family and give up everything we had in order to follow Jesus? This is where we come face to face with a dangerous reality. We do have to give up everything to follow Jesus. We do have to love him in a way that makes our closest relationships in this world look like hate. And it is entirely possible that he will tell us to sell everything we have and give it to the poor." This is tough stuff! I've been wresting through these ideas for the past 6 years or so. It all started with our trips to Africa. I just felt compelled to get rid of our junk and live as simply as possible.........still working on that concept! There have been times in my life, where quite honestly, I felt a bit self-righteous cause I had no attachments to my 'stuff'. All of you who 'really' know me, know that I could care less about my stuff. But, that's cause 'stuff' is not a weak spot for me. If I had been the rich young leader who approached Jesus, he would not have bothered asking me to sell all my possessions. That would have been too easy for me. He might would have asked me to 'leave my children, lose my ability to walk, or lose my sight, or lose my dearest friends, or be willing to live/minister in the arctic circle" who knows!! But Christ knows the things that hold me back and he knew what things were holding back the rich young ruler. When recruiting his disciples he asked them to leave their jobs, avoid attending a dad's funeral (no time for that), 'hate' (in context) our families, and basically have reckless abandonment. Yep, that's the kind of love He is looking for. He's not REALLY telling me to leave Paul and the kids right now. But what if one day, we are called to leave the U.S.? Will we be willing to leave our children and grandchildren? That's a real question. Am I willing to risk friendships cause I want to seriously follow Him? I can give up my stuff, no worries there. But what is most dear to my heart? What about my life or the lives of my children? Have I surrendered all of that to Him? Each day, I have to remind myself in prayer that my kids are gifts and that they are His. I am preparing them to one day be willing to risk their own lives for the sake of the Cross. I'm also reading 1000 Arrows and it's a tough one too! I feel like our kids are the next radical generation and my job is to prepare them for their lives as adults. I don't feel as though it will be a 'cake walk'. I think they will have to put their jobs, relationships, and possibly their lives on the line in order to follow Christ. Yellow belly does not set well with me. I hope I have the courage too one day to do the same. I pray that my kids would have a 'radical' love for Him. I don't want average followers of Christ. Yuck!! I don't want to be an 'average' follower of Christ either. I guess I have a lot of work to do in my own life too! What are your desires for your kids? What are your aspirations? doctor, lawyer, preacher? I could care less about the profession. It's not the profession they choose but how they profess His name! Atleast, those are my tiny thoughts.

Beautiful Boston = Beautiful Babies

I just got back from an amazing trip to Boston. I'm saying the word 'Boston' with my best northern accent.I love the way they taaallk up there. Hey, you're in "Bawsten" now. I loved it! I was able to scrapbook, sleep in, play Wii, eat fun foods, and play some Catan. We even went shopping one day and I got the kids their Christmas presents, early! It was a pure delight. Playing the Wii was humiliating. My 7 year old nephew put me to shame and finally took the control away from me and played both of them. I was that bad!! I ate all the wrong stuff and it was so yummy: coke, m&ms, pizza, cookie dough, cookies, candy, etc........yum yum!! What a great trip!